My beautiful, amazing, miraculous in-hospital vaginal breech birth!

By Natalie Hicks

My beautiful girl has quite the amazing birth story, and I promise to never stop shouting it from the rooftops.

I am the world's biggest planner. Is it a touch of OCD? Perfectionism? Who knows. I definitely tend to stay in my head far too much. I sit there and plan everything out in my head, EXACTLY how I want things to go, down to a T. Every. Last. Detail.

After already being blessed beyond measure with one daughter and one son, we decided to keep the gender of our third baby a complete surprise until birth. After all… Perfectly safe, healthy, and strong is all that we could ever want and ask for! How crazily exciting life's only real, complete and total surprise would be for my little family. Our little surprise tie-breaker!

This is where all my "planning" took off! I planned for clothes, I planned for name signs. Announcement photos, too! I planned how we would share the news with family and friends. I basically already had the whole plan of how everything was gonna go down. I had already had two completely natural labors and births before, this one would, most likely, be no different.

It'd definitely been a smooth sailing pregnancy, just like with my other two children. Our anatomy scan and bloodwork that were done at our 21 week appt was absolutely perfect. Baby did have a marginal cord insertion (which is where the umbilical cord implants close to the edge of the placenta, instead of in the center), but baby was growing good, and was actually even measuring bigger than my other two previous kiddos ever did, so no worries there at all. And any other of the typical tests or markers that are looked or tested for during pregnancy all came back as low risk for any worrisome issues and abnormalities.

They checked fluid levels, all good. Doppler flow of blood through the cord, check! Baby was always super active (as were both our other two kids), so it should've definitely been no big deal that this baby just happened to be sitting booty down and head up, cause there's still PLENTY of time, and room, to turn and flip flop all around at that point. We're literally only halfway. It's totally and completely normal. No biggie. So, just more dreaming, and planning our big surprise!

Weeks, months, fly by. We had a routine check up where a bomb was dropped on us. Statistically, by 34 weeks, only 5-7% of babies are still breech.. Well, our baby just happened to be one of those 5-7%. We were told "You know what that means, right?" The word hit me like a semi truck. "Csection." But we also got a few statements like, "Oh, don't worry too much, there's still some time." "Baby's can still flip up until the very last minute." But still, the only thing that echoed through my mind was "Just think about it, in case baby stays breech…"

Completely shocked and admittedly, totally devastated, by the drastic, sudden, unexpected change of ALL of my plans, I immediately go home and take to google. For the next month and a half, I literally fell face first into researching ALL THINGS BREECH. The risks, the dangers, the statistics, the studies, the research, the options (or, lack there-of!). The good, the bad, and the ugly.

At first, I focused on the techniques to try to help encourage the baby to flip head down. When I say that I tried it all… I. TRIED. IT. ALL. 24/7. My days were completely filled with the constant routine of forward leaning inversions hanging off my couch, propping the ironing board up for some upside down pelvic tilt exercises, yoga ball, curb walking, knee-chest poses, hands and knees as much as possible, crawling around on the floor, walking laps, sideways stair climbing, hip-circles, lunges, frozen veggie bags placed high and heating pads placed low, using peppermint and myrrh essential oils, the burning of Chinese mugwort by my pinky toes, acupuncture needles, chiropractic adjustments, and a whole lot of praying, etc, etc, etc.

It became my life. It literally consumed me. But… nothing was working. This baby's head, (and feet!), were right there, high against my ribs. There were a lot of times I felt short of breath from the lack of space that my lungs had to expand.

As time continued to pass, hope was fading fast for whatever "plans" I thought I had for us, and for the delivery that I had imagined up. As much as I absolutely hate to admit it, depression had begun to set in. How on earth had a time that was supposed to be SO happy and exciting, turned into such despair and like a total nightmare? The last few weeks of this pregnancy were FLYING by, and I literally started to look at myself in the mirror and see myself as nothing but a ticking time bomb. I kept telling Matt I was just going to be gutted like a deer, filleted like a fish, cut in half like a bad magician's trick.

My thoughts were constantly consumed with a million different scenarios. My anxiety became completely overwhelming. I broke down crying multiple times a day. Matter of fact, I cried majority of the days. I got to where, honestly, I didn't talk hardly at all anymore. If I wasn't hanging upside down, or doing some weird stretching type pose while sobbing or just closing my eyes, I was laying in the bed, glued to a phone screen tirelessly and endlessly researching, googling, and making so many calls and emails. Holding normal, chit-chatty conversations with Matt when he got home from work was completely out of the picture, because, at that time, in my mind, if it wasn't talking about/discussing my current situation at hand, and the desperate, immediate predicament that I was in, it honestly didn't even matter to me anymore. It was honestly scary to see myself falling into such a dark place, and seeing it happen so fast, and not being able to do anything about it.

I told Matt time and time again, through torrential downpours of tears, that I COULD NOT DO IT. I just literally couldn't agree to a surgery. It was something that I, ESPECIALLY after all the research that I'd done, (and let's face it, at that point, I had become quite the expert), didn't believe was absolutely, immediately necessary based solely off the fact that I happened to have a breech presenting baby. Though they were extremely few and far between, there were a few others out there in the world who held the same views. Even though they were complete and total strangers, I flocked to them as resources, as listening ears in my time of need, as confidants that I could share my crazy feelings with.. They didn't judge. They didn't think I was insane. They had been there, too.

In my intensive researching, two of my main sources of information available on this particular subject were Breech Without Borders and Coalition for Breech Birth. Both of which were organizations that advocated for the training, education, and support for those women in situations similar to mine. The information that these resources provided to me was invaluable. Ultimately, I learned that there are risks involved for both baby and mom, either way -- C-section or vaginal birth, and that's with either a "normal" head-down baby, or a little booty-down "breechie", like mine.

Although the majority of medical providers today are fully and totally cemented in their thoughts and opinions surrounding breech birth and its inherent "risks", most situations surrounding breech babies had the same exact risks for either labor/delivery mode (C-section vs vaginal delivery), and the percentage numbers really weren't all that different for these risks. I simply could not wrap my head around the fact as to why on earth there was so much pushback at my appts when I dared mention that I was looking at my options other than mandatory C-section. Why had so much of the world, especially North America, became so against birthing breech babies naturally? Why were they so adamant on immediately scheduling a major abdominal surgery without giving any other options? Why wouldn't my doctors even sit and discuss the real, honest risks of BOTH modes of delivery to give me full consent and autonomy over what happened with MY baby and MY body?? My sweet baby's head might not have been "spinning", but mine surely was!

Something in me knew, deep down, I wanted, no… I NEEDED to at least ATTEMPT this natural birth of my "malpositioned" baby. (Baby was definitely NOT "malpositioned" like they tried to tell me. Baby simply knew the best, safest, most comfortable way for them to be born.) My personal opinion surrounding breech birth that I had formed through complete and total informed consent thanks to heavy researching and investigating, though, was not shared by 99.9% of medical providers in the United States. What on earth was I supposed to do? I was quickly running out of time, and I had no earthly idea how this baby was going to come out of me.

Matt tried talking to me, constantly trying to calm me down. He told me that this is just a possibility that you have to consider. A C-section is technically a chance and a potential possibility that you're taking with any pregnancy delivery, breech baby or not. I knew deep down he was right, right about everything. I KNEW deep down that it's such a super common procedure, literally thousands are performed every day in the United States. I personally know several people that have gotten them, and they're all doing fine today. I tried talking to them about theirs. But none of that mattered. It didn't help. I have no idea why.. I never will know WHY. I simply just could NOT see past this. I was slowly starting to shut people out. Nobody understood me and why it upset me SO BAD. I, myself, didn't even know why! I was so alone and so afraid. Scared of what exactly? I don't even know.. I knew everything would likely be perfectly fine, but I just couldn't swallow it. I couldn't come to terms with it. I couldn't handle it at all.

I was now 37 weeks pregnant (highly emotional as that already is, heightened, obviously, by my urgent situation) frantically making phone call after phone call to all these random doctor offices all over the state of Texas and surrounding states like Louisiana, Oklahoma, and Arkansas. I was desperate to find someone, ANYONE who was qualified, experienced, and willing to allow me to ATTEMPT a vaginal birth even though my baby was breech. I started looking into and considering homebirth, midwives, and birthing centers located all over the Ark-La-Tex area, but many of them had no experience in breech birth specifically, (because of how rare someone even wanting to attempt it is), and could not/would not even allow it. I was actually able to find a couple midwives, though, who WERE willing to take me under their care, (stating some quite limited experience with breech deliveries), even with me being so late term in my pregnancy as I was, while the overwhelming majority of them wouldn't touch me with a 10ft pole. I was already such a high risk with a breech baby, and then if you add in the fact that I'm at an even higher risk of hemorrhaging due to my blood thinner injection usage during pregnancy.. The odds were definitely all stacked against me.

Matt knew all too well the mental and emotional toll that this entire situation had put on me, and while he didn't want to add to the taking away of my only other options at this point, he wrestled with the idea of an out-of-hospital birth and what danger that could potentially put me, and our baby, in. He, ultimately, decided to at least entertain the idea (for my sake) and we met with the midwives to discuss the potential option of delivering with them out of hospital. To say that it just didn't feel right for us, was a bit of an understatement.. Realistically, I simply couldn't do it. I couldn't put myself, my precious unborn baby, or my other children and husband that need me, at risk of losing me if a true emergency happened and help simply couldn't arrive soon enough.

I was truly stuck between a rock and a hard place. I felt pressured a bit by time constraints of needing to hurry and make a decision on whether to go ahead and schedule the C-section with my current provider, but I was fighting myself, not able to give up hope. Hope that I had been holding onto so desperately, even through all of the darkness I'd been battling my way through. I was now only two days shy of being 38 weeks pregnant. Knowing deep down, the possibility of me going into labor spontaneously at any given time was VERY real. Also knowing that IF that happened, my literal only available option now of a "scheduled" C-section with my provider would then be changed to an "emergency" C-section, meaning I would have to be put under general anesthesia due to their opinions and lack of training/experience in breech birth causing them to view it as a scary, urgent situation due to the "risks" of going into labor with a breech baby. General anesthesia would bring about its own set of problems.. Higher probability of risks for both me and baby, and also, that Matt would not be allowed in the OR during the procedure, meaning neither of us would get to even witness the birth of our big surprise. At this point, I was so defeated. EVERYTHING… It was all too much. I couldn't handle it.

It was just last Wednesday. I was 37 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I had an appt scheduled to go see my chiropractor that morning, but in my total gloom and despair, I woke up too late to be able to get ready and make it over to Longview in time for it. What was the use in going anyway… It wasn't working. It wasn't helping the baby turn head down. I was just wasting time. Time that I could be doing more inversions, more applications of essential oils, more crawling on my hands and knees… Then again, none of that was working either. There it was, I had my next appt with my obgyn in Longview scheduled for the very next morning. At that point, I would then be 37 weeks and 6 days, so only one day shy of being 38 weeks. As I stood in my kitchen, I reached down and felt the hard lump that was my baby's head right under my rib cage, slightly to the right side. Baby wiggled back at my touch, in other places, but I had come to know that the hard lump would remain right there in that place. I silently whispered a prayer, once again, as I did at least a million times per day over the past month and a half.. "Lord… please.." The tears began to fall. Some, making it all the way to the floor.

I already knew exactly what my obgyn would say tomorrow. I knew what they would expect of me… to go ahead and schedule the C-section to happen on one of the coming days of that week. I stared at the floor, blankly. The house was silent, I hadn't gotten the kids up yet. I needed some time to myself.

My phone rings, I assume it's Matt, calling from work to check up on me (I had really started worrying him at this point). I look over at my phone screen as it sits on our kitchen island. It's a phone number that's not saved in my phone, so I almost assume it's a bill collector or someone on about my extended warranty or whatever, something stupid I'm sure. But, to be completely honest with you, at that point in my life, just about everything was starting to feel that way. I stare at the phone as it continues to ring, and I finally decide to just pick it up. I slide it to answer, just cause. I say "Hello?" And I don't even know what I'm hoping or expecting to hear, but I hear a man's voice say "Hello, this is Dr Ammar Dhari, and I'm trying to reach Natalie Hicks." My heart skips a beat. At this point, I had contacted SO many doctors. And many of them called back, just like this, and I would immediately shoot my hopes up and smile, only to start crying again as they tell me "I'm really sorry, but that is not something that we offer." As they then would continue to pour the "risks associated with breech birth" out to me, like I didn't already know that whole spill by heart.

I can't honestly say that my heart didn't get the slightest, teensiest bit of hope again when I heard his voice, because usually it wasn't the actual doctor who called me back, but the front desk/receptionist type people or the nurse, but I'd definitely be lying if I said I thought it would turn out to be anything else to follow after that except the usual "No, I'm sorry."
He continued… "I understand you're pregnant with a breech baby and you are looking for options due to not wanting a C-section…" Wait… what did he say? He's probably about to tell me that I'm basically crazy, and that that's not something that anybody does anymore, and then he's gonna continue with all the statistics and risks and stuff. Should I just go ahead and hang up now? But wait… He's suddenly asking me about my medical history with my previous pregnancies. My head starts to spin. I think I'm answering his questions? I hope they are at least the correct answers. He tells me he is calling me from the OR waiting room between patients' surgeries. Is this a practical joke? Do doctors even do stuff like that? This can't be real. He asks a little about me and Matt, like our occupations and proceeds to tell me that he used to do some work in West Texas so he knows all about the oilfield stuff.

He's laughing and making casual conversation with me and says he likes to know a little about his patients. He confirms how far along I am in my pregnancy and then tells me he would love to take me on. He tells me that with vaginal breech birth, there are some risks, but all those risks can be diminished as long as someone is the right candidate. He tells me ALL the things that go into account when considering if someone is the right candidate or not. Pelvis size and structure, baby's size and head circumference, specific type of breech positioning of baby, and several other considerations. He says he would like to see me for a consult tomorrow morning at his clinic in Houston at literally the same exact time as my regular obgyn appt is scheduled for tomorrow in Longview. I think I'm stumbling over my words at this point, he probably thinks I'm crazy. I say okay and we hop off the phone. I think my eyes are literally crisping over from not blinking. My heart is pounding. What in the world just happened? I'm definitely no longer worried about my eyes, cause I'm uncontrollably sobbing now. I drop to my knees there in my kitchen and cry out to God "Thank you, thank you, thank you", but it's not enough.. How could it ever be enough? I don't know what to do with myself. I pick the phone back up. I don't know if it was on the floor with me or up on the island or what. I immediately call Matt. I tell him I've got an appt in Houston…. tomorrow…. morning…. He probably thinks I'm nuts. He can't just take off work so last minute like this… He tells me he would really hate to call his boss asking to take off when we already set his paternity leave to start soon. (He hates being a burden.)

We talk about how the whole phone conversation went. I know he can hear the excitement in my voice. He literally knows how crazy I am, he knows with or without him, I WILL be in Houston in the morning. He says he doesn't want me to drive by myself. He tells me to hang on and that he will call me back. I assume he has to hop out of the truck and open a gate or check something at work, so I say "Okay, Love you." And he repeats it back, like always. I need to sit down and think and let my whole body settle for a minute anyways. Kids are starting to stir and wake up. I decide to take the time to message my chiropractor and apologize for missing this morning's appt. She asks if I wanna come in later, and I agree.

Who knows, it may help better position and line up my pelvis, which this doctor says is one of the main things he takes into account when determining if someone is a good candidate for vaginal breech delivery. Fingers crossed that I am that good candidate. I highly think I am based upon what I know from my extensive research, but this guy is an expert, so I'm cautiously excited to see what he sees and what he thinks about me and my situation.
Matt calls back. "Hello?" I say. "I'll be in Houston with you in the morning." He had called his boss and everything was set. I was so happy. I desperately needed him with me. I wasn't sure what I would hear from this doctor at the appt. And depending on, how would I react? We decided to go ahead and book a room that night to make sure we could get there on time with traffic and finding the place, and parking and everything.

So off I go to my chiro appt in Longview, then I run by DCOL and pickup my medical records that I chose to have printed off and ready for me to pickup ever since the beginning of the week before. You see, these medical records were actually, originally gonna be sent/taken somewhere else to a different doctor that I ended up getting a call back from and hearing a "No, I'm sorry but we don't do that", response from before I could even go to pick the records up. So there the records sat, un-picked up (sure, that's a word!). But all of that didn't matter, cause here they were, waiting for me. Perfectly sorted, packaged up, and ready for me to pickup and take with me in the morning to this miracle doctor. (Side note: These same copies of medical records had been requested to be sent to different doctor's offices across the state of Texas. I requested them to be faxed, but when I had called to check in on them, I was told they ended up having to be "snail-mailed" because there was so much. Upon pickup of my printed copy in Longview, I was given 2 large, 2-3" thick yellow envelopes bursting at the seams full with medical records from my history of all my experiences with my obgyn which included both my previous two term pregnancies, as well as the 11 losses between them, and this current pregnancy information up until that point.)
Later that evening, we make the drive to Houston, stay in a hotel close, and drive Thursday morning to this clinic where I will meet this man.. FINALLY, someone willing and able to give me a chance! Which is all I even wanted and hoped for in this situation. Not to be stuck, mandated, backed into a corner with nowhere else to turn, pressured, scared, fear-mongered, not listened to, not truly and wholly cared for.

I'm literally shaking as I type this up. That meeting… Was everything. Not only was this doctor the nicest, humblest, most down to earth, passionate to truly help, person that I'd ever met, but he said THE words I had been so desperately needing to hear. As my phone buzzed beside me with my current obgyn's office blowing me up with appt reminders, voicemails filled with recorded lines talking of my missed appt, and nurses stating on their voicemails "We were just letting you know's". This doctor, who at that point, personally, didn't know me from Adam, looked me dead in the eyes after doing a whole evaluation on both baby, and me, and told me that he fully believed that my baby and I were a good "candidate pair", if you will, for a vaginal breech delivery.

I could have screamed. I'm surprised I didn't. My heart literally raced. If it wouldn't have been safely enclosed in my chest, it's liable to have took off down the hall and been darn near back home to East Texas by the time I noticed it was gone. I could breathe, I could smile, I could feel happy. He told us we'd have to work together on the logistics of how we could make this work. I'm 3 hours from him when I'm home. We talked and discussed for a while. We came up with a plan.

The next day, Friday, I would be exactly 38 weeks pregnant. It just so happens that he would also be going on call at the hospital where he delivers for the next 24 hours. He told us he wanted to induce me the next morning. Me and Matt immediately turned to each other with wide eyes, after we picked our bottom jaws up off the floor, that is. The doctor gave us some more information on how things would potentially go, and he let us move over into a room where we could collect our thoughts, talk and discuss things over, pray about it, and ultimately let him know what we thought about the idea.

Not only did we have to figure things out financially with insurance, we had to go home and grab our hospital bags and the baby car seat, we had to find childcare for our other two who were right there with us then (clueless as to what was potentially about to go down and just how crazy their parents probably seem to even be in this crazy situation in the first place.)

We sat in that room with swirling heads and feelings for what felt like an hour before peeking out to say that we had made a decision. The doctor came into the room with us, we talked a bit, and right before he left the room he turned to us, flashed a smile, held up his hand, and said "See you tomorrow morning."

We walk out, speechless and completely amazed. We get back to the truck and get in, not really knowing exactly what to do next. By that time, though, it's already a little after 1 o'clock in the afternoon, so we decide to grab a quick bite to eat, and boogie back home to pack our bags, get the car seat, and just get some things taken care of and squared away. Before we left the office, we had talked on the phone to the insurance coordinator and we had roughly $1,500 of a deductible that we needed to meet before our insurance would cover the hospital portion at 100%. Unfortunately, we left all of our $1,500 bills at home that day… Only kidding. Have you seen this economy? We're broke. So we discussed our options with that, and decided we wanted to get a small personal loan from the bank to cover that amount. Only problem with that, we were in Houston, 3 hours away from our bank, and the bank closed in less than an hour and a half. When I tell you every single thing in this girl's birth story was beautifully orchestrated by the Lord God Almighty, I'm not even joking. Every single thing was LITERALLY down to the wire. Every single time though, it always came through right on time. That's my God. You'll never be able to tell me otherwise.

So, after calling the bank and leaving multiple frantic voicemails, after emailing our banker to better explain the specifics on the situation, at 2 o'clock, as we were coming up on 45 mins-1hour away from home, and only 30 minutes before the bank closed for the day, I get a call back from the banker saying "I got your voicemails, I got your email. I've already ran the numbers. We're gonna get y'all taken care of!" He was able to immediately send over the digital papers to sign via email, we E-signed them while driving the rest of the way home, and as we were in our bedroom, quickly throwing things in bags to take to the hospital that was 3 hours away from home, we get the call that the money is deposited in our account and ready for us to make payment with. *Insert yet another giant sigh of relief!*

So with that, we talk to the kiddos and let them know what's about to go down, we call my parents over to watch our big brother and big sister, we briefly try to share and explain the whole situation to them (They probably still, after the fact now, don't even quite know the whole gravity of the actual situation it was. And they likely won't until they read this, just like everyone else.) We load up the truck and head back to Houston.

On our way back down, I simply could not stop smiling.. The whole 3 hours. Even during the occasional emotional breakdowns of happy tears, I smiled. I deserved this so much. I deserved to be happy. I had fought this situation so hard for so long. I got on my phone and booked the same hotel that we stayed in the night before when we came down and stayed the night before the consult appt with the doctor. We stayed, we talked, we prayed, we (mostly me) teared up/cried, we slept with so much peace and comfort.

I beat my alarm that was set on my phone the next morning by about an hour and a half. The sun was nowhere near to rising yet. And neither was Matt. I laid there in that hotel room bed and had a good, long hour and a half prayer where I talked with God. I told him about all my thoughts on this whole situation, I told him any worries or anxieties that I had about it, I told him how sorry I was for the way I behaved the past month and a half. I asked him for total and complete comfort and peace in this whole experience. I don't even know what all else I said, but boy, did I talk. When I ended my prayer, I was immediately overcome by this feeling of just being whole-heartedly content and at peace. Not scared, no worries at all. I knew He had us in his hand, and I knew this was all under his control.

We left the hotel, and drove to the hospital. We showed up completely unsure of where we should go, what we should do first, and what to say to anyone we may encounter when we got to that place. Would they know our story? Or would they hear it for the first time and think we were super crazy? The doctor had given me his personal cell number at the appt the day before, but I hadn't even spoke with him that morning yet to let him know we were there at the hospital a few hours earlier than he wanted to start by, to hopefully go ahead and get this show on the road. We found our way to the admissions desk and after trying to explain our long, complicated story clearly to make it make sense, she had nothing in the computer for me. She asked me something, and I wasn't sure, but I remembered l had his cell number. It was as if someone instinctively tapped him on the shoulder and told him at the right exact moment, the doctor texted me and said to bypass admissions and come straight up to labor and delivery on 5th floor and they'd get me registered and checked in, ready to get the show on the road. As soon as we step out of the elevator and round the corner, there he was and he told the triage nurse "Ah, here she is" and he told me she'd get me taken care of and he'd be back in 40 minutes.

40 minutes.. Now THAT'S a countdown to be happy about. This was really happening. To someone like me. I did it. I found someone. Someone that I fully and whole heartedly trusted and believed (even after only knowing him for such a short time) that was on the EXACT same page as me on this. I've honestly NEVER seen a doctor that literally cared and absolutely poured his heart and soul into something that means so much to patients that reach out to him in their time of need. People like me. The ones who are at the end of their rope. The ones that have nowhere else to turn. The ones who are desperately calling out for help, hope, and options.

We get registered and have a seat, waiting to be called back and placed in a room to start this super exciting process. I don't even know what all was running through my mind at that point, but excitement and anticipation are definitely on top of it all. I had been praying, every 5 minutes it seemed, that God would give me peace throughout this whole process . He did just that. I was at a place of such peace and contentment. I had full confidence, and not one worry was ever allowed to creep in. I cried a lot, but the tears were overflowing with pure joy. I couldn't stop smiling. People all around me probably thought I was crazy. Oh well.. Let them. If they only knew my story, this story, of what all it took me to get right there where I was sitting.

We wait for just a bit more, and my name gets called for me to head back to our labor and delivery room to get preparations underway for this crazily, rare delivery that's going to take place soon! Ashamedly, I was almost walking down the halls with this proud feeling as though I'm walking around with a spotlight on me. But it wasn't out of boastfulness, like "Hey, look at me! Look what I'm doing!" No, it was completely different than that. I wanted any and every one to stop me and ask.. I wanted to share my story with every single person that I could. I wanted to share the absolutely unbelievable works of the most mighty God that had orchestrated every single little detail so perfectly, and timely, and just how AMAZING it all truly was. I couldn't contain the emotions.. I needed everyone to know! I wondered if all the nurses I passed were aware that I was THE one that they had heard would be coming in today? Did they all know my story beyond just the fact that I was coming in to do something pretty rare, but that I had only JUST came here and met this amazing doctor that they work under? Do they know just how crazy, but exciting of a situation this really is? Do they know and really understand the depth of the fact that I'm not just a normal patient living in this area that came in for a normally, scheduled induction with a doctor that I've known and been seeing my entire pregnancy?

After answering all the questions about my medical history, and letting these people know all the pertinent things to know about my pregnancy, there I am, changed into my hospital gown, smiling, so eager for this process to start. I'm so beyond ready for this. I've dreamed this up many times, but never thought it was ACTUALLY gonna be possible. Not to someone like me, from a little ol' quiet, east Texas town. We don't question doctors, we don't travel to seek other options in medical care, we don't dive off into research so deep that we are head over heels into something like this, I've never even once considered myself as someone who would be fighting and voicing my opinions for patient rights in the medical context… This. All of it. Having this crazy, rare, seemingly once in a lifetime opportunity and experience. I'm incredibly excited, not only because I'm about to meet my new, complete surprise baby, but I'm just genuinely overjoyed with the opportunity to not only know about and witness such an event, but to be THE one that is experiencing it, first hand. I simply can't describe it. I don't think I ever will be able to, honestly.

Dr Dhari told us at the consult appt on Thursday the general run down of how this all would work (Lord willing!). He told us there may be some hoops for him to have to jump through in order for the hospital to allow him to do what he needed to do, but that he was here and ready to put up whatever kind of fight he had to, to do this for us. He informed us that I would come in, get started on pitocin to induce labor, and I would be allowed to labor in the labor and delivery room until fully dilated and effaced, ready to go. I would then be swiftly wheeled down to the OR where they would transfer me over to the operating table where I will deliver my baby. I was assured that there would be MANY people from MANY different care teams present in the OR in case any issues or emergencies arose. NICU team, Anesthesiologists, there was a lot more, I can't even remember them all. They were all heavily informed on the whole situation and knew exactly what to do and if/when. I was reminded often that even though there was going to be many people present, my main focus was to be on Dr Dhari himself, as he would be coaching me on the exact things I needed to do and exactly when to do them. This was all so unreal. I couldn't believe it.

In the labor and delivery room, I had gotten hooked up to all the monitors, IVs were placed, preparations were made, etc. I was SO elated that I was going to be able to experience the whole labor process after-all. I didn't quite know exactly how that would look with a breech baby.. All of my researching had told me that labor with breech babies can be a little bit sporadic. Without a hard, solid head to help dilate and efface the cervix, contractions can be pretty regular, but can start to space out and even fizzle out completely, before ramping back up.

I was started on a round of antibiotics in my iv just in case, since I never was swabbed and tested for GBS by my regular obgyn back home (since they had no intentions of letting me even attempt something like this with my little head-up baby). Dr Dhari checked my progression so that we had an initial baseline to go off of. I had already been 1.5cm dilated and 50% effaced at our consult appt just the day before. I was now at a 3, and 50% effaced. Right at 12 o'clock noon, they came in and started the pitocin drip (which would be continually turned up every 30 mins as long as baby and I were tolerating it okay.) 

My previous two babies were induced using pit, so I knew exactly what to expect as far as that went. I was completely at ease and peace with everything. It was all coming together perfectly, getting ever so close to how I originally had all planned out in my head. Only difference, we were 3 hours from where I thought we'd be, in the middle of all these tall buildings, but that fact was one of the main things I felt so at peace about. I knew we were exactly where we needed to be, under the care of the very best hands possible!

With the pitocin slowly being cranked up, within an hour and a half, I had moved from 50% effaced to 70%, still at a 3. And by my next check around 4:30pm, I was dilated to a 5 and was 90% effaced. The whole L&D team knew I wasn't exactly planning on getting or even wanting the epidural, but at our consult on Thursday, the doctor had discussed how different breech births could be, and that some of the maneuvers that they may need to use to help baby descend and make their way into this world could make things slightly uncomfortable. He reassured me that he highly recommended it for breech births. I told him I had a very high pain tolerance, so just to let me know when he recommended me going ahead and getting it. He said that honestly, being at or past 5cm by now, and almost fully effaced, that we may wanna go ahead and get it so that we don't wait too late. 

With that, somewhere around 5:30pm, I gave my full consent. I had only just met this man, but at this point, I was willing to trust whatever he said to the very ends of the Earth. I, confidently and wholeheartedly, believed that he had my full, best interest in his heart and mind. This man was the most honest, caring, smart, humble, calm, collected, passionate about what he does person that I've ever had the honor of meeting. I couldn't have hand selected a better person to help me deliver my child.

The anesthesiologist team was called down to my room. When they arrived, Matt was sent to the waiting room for the sterile procedure of placing the epidural. Laughing and joking with the anesthesiologists and my lovely nurse, only pausing to breathe slowly and surely through some intense contractions, I sat up and scooted back to the very edge of the hospital bed. I arched my back just as I was told, as my nurse handed me my pillow to hold and lean myself over. She reached around my pillow, making sure to carefully hold the monitors on my belly to continue monitoring baby's heart rate and the contractions. "Big poke on 3", "bee sting", and "Now, lots of pressure". When they got done with their first attempt to get the placement correct, they told me that it was time to test it with some medication. They told me what to be mindful of, and to let them know what, if anything, I felt/experienced. I sat there, still as a statue and completely confident. I remember feeling like everything must be going good with the test cause I hadn't even felt anything close to what they had told me about. 

Then, immediately, my ears felt clogged/muffled. My heart rate increased to somewhere in the 130's. I felt dizzy, weak, and shaky. Positive result for that test. I closed my eyes and calmly prayed. "Peace. Comfort. Lord, please, be here with me." The team reassured me that I was okay. Everything was okay. They told me how good I was doing. Epidural was removed, tape was removed. We had to do it all again. Back to laughing and joking with them, in between the silent pauses to slowly breathe. At least I knew exactly what to expect now. The second attempt and medication test result was negative, placement correct. The real medication could start its numbing effects now. Slowly, I started to feel the effects of my "walking epidural".

So there, in my L&D room, me and my baby continued to labor beautifully.. Contractions increased with each increase of the pitocin dosage administered through the IV line. They rose and fell like peaceful waves carrying me closer and closer to both this amazingly, rare delivery experience, and to the first face to face meeting between me and my precious baby.

Probably only 40 minutes or so after getting the epidural, Dr Dhari came in to tell me that we were getting so close. He was going to go prepare the OR. My nurses brought in Matt's scrubs, shoe covers, mask, and cap. As I watched him get suited up for this experience, I smiled and the tears began to flow down my cheeks. Here we were. We made it. I did it. I found someone who believed in me. I found a place to safely deliver the exact way that I wanted to. Everything that I had fought SO hard for was about to come to fruition. A few more prayers whispered.

Next thing I know, my nurses and a few others, come in and start to unplug my hospital bed and all the monitors connected to me, so that they could all accompany me on my short journey down the hall. Matt comes over and bends down for us to get a quick photo before being wheeled down. As we slowly wiggled the bed and accompanying equipment out of the door to my room, I'm beaming with joy. There are countless people lining the halls between my room and the OR. All dressed in blue scrubs, so that they can come in to witness the delivery of a lifetime. All eyes on us, baby. Here we go. It's go time.

Tears were flooding my eyes and streaming down my face, but I remember being wheeled into the room. The bright white lights, the hustle and bustle. More and more people. This is just completely, insanely, amazing. I'm asked to slowly and carefully shift and transfer myself over from the hospital bed to the operating table, and I'm reminded and warned of an ever so slight gap between them. As soon as I make it over, the hospital bed is wheeled out of the room and Matt is standing right beside me. I hand him my phone to pass to a nurse for pictures. I immediately reach out and grasp for his hand. I couldn't have done any of this without him. I'm asked to scoot down as far as possible and as I feel myself on the very end of the table, I know this is it. Anesthesiologist is at my head introducing himself and telling me that if anything were to happen, they are there to make sure I'm taken care of with pain relief and sedation options. Worst case scenario, I'll be given a medication to make me fall asleep so they can make sure that baby gets here safely.

My heart is pounding, my head is spinning. I'm praying with my eyes open, praying with my eyes briefly closed. Praying, the same words over and over, "God, hear my heart," because at that place in time, I could not find the words. It all was happening so fast. I wanted to remember every little detail, but I couldn't even begin to take it all in. It was magical. Almost like a dream. And I literally couldn't believe that it was happening to me.

A few, quick last preparations were made, and I was told that I would push with the next contraction. Here goes. They slowly and steadily count to 10. And with that, my water breaks. We repeat that twice. And baby's almost ready to enter this world.. Booty first, of course.

Two more counts to 10, and my baby is born only up the hips, while the doctor is teaching on the maneuvers used to rotate baby and help effortlessly free baby's legs, allowing them to dangle as we work together as a greatly coordinated team to get the rest of baby here.

Shortly following the release of baby's legs, the doctor is applying pressure with a firm grip on baby's hips until he sees baby's shoulder blades. He slowly rotates baby, releasing baby's arms. After the arms are born, the only part of baby left yet to be seen in this outside world is the head. Dr Dhari carefully uses a set of forceps, and while elegantly but firmly grasping baby's body and lifting upwards, baby's head is easily delivered. The whole birth of my baby took slightly under 4 minutes. It was just as easy and quick as my two previous head-down babies. (And, while still fairly small, this has been my biggest baby so far.)

My baby was quickly lifted up and placed directly onto me where I immediately reached my arms down and wrapped them around. They begin to wipe and stimulate baby, and Dr Dhari calmly reaches up and lifts one of baby's leg, telling me to see find out what gender baby was. In all the excitement, emotions, feelings, and events… I had completely forgotten that I didn't even know the gender yet! I lifted my head up and tears flowed fast and furious as I called out "It's a little girl!!"

Soon after, the NICU team came over to get her to take her over to the warmer cart nearby to check her all over and get weight and length stats, etc., making sure that she was strong and healthy. She let out a loud, strong cry as they were lifting her off of me and I immediately started thanking God. I said aloud "I did it! We did it! God did it!" SO many people were coming over and congratulating me and thanking me for letting them witness such a rare, beautiful experience. They were all telling me how wonderful I did, and I know I was absolutely beaming with pride. My nurse and the resident who helped Dr Dhari deliver my baby while learning firsthand all these techniques for delivering a breech baby vaginally came over to congratulate and thank me.. Through tears, I told them no matter what, just promise me that they will take what they'd learned and continue in the medical field and give women like me options.. Don't ever tell someone that it's not possible. Because they had just witnessed first hand, that it indeed was, and IS, possible!

They cleaned me up, got my hospital bed wheeled back into the OR, and as soon as I transferred myself back over into it, they walk over to me with my daughter. I'm ripping my hospital gown off at that point, as they hand her to me for skin to skin while they wheel us through the hall back to my L&D room.

Remember how I said everything in this story was wonderfully and miraculously orchestrated by God, every little detail, down to the very last minute? My daughter was born at 6:59pm. One single minute before shift change for so many of the students, learners, residents, and additional staff members who I consented to let come in and witness this beautifully rare vaginal breech birth.

After a few hours of skin to skin, bonding, breastfeeding, and soaking it all in, Dr Dhari came in to check on us. More tears! How on earth do you thank a man who took it upon himself to do something like this?? How can he, as a man, feel so strongly passionate about giving women like me the right and the means of delivering how they want to, against all the odds stacked against them? Can someone just give this guy a Medal of Honor? Give him THE WORLD if he wants it… He deserves it! He literally has no idea the situation he saved me from. And while I tried to explain it to him multiple times, the guy is literally so incredibly humble, that he just tells me that it was all me. That I did so good, that I could've easily done it at home, myself. He immediately starts telling me how he had the best mentor that he learned all that he knows from. And he passionately loved talking about how devastating it is that vaginal breech birth is not being taught and practiced anymore. It's not being allowed anymore. He strongly feels it should be, not only for women like me, but for those who show up "with feet hanging out"… Dr Dhari: "What are you gonna do? Go cry in the corner?" You have to know what to do in an emergency situation to save that baby and possibly the mother's life/lives. I wish everyone, everywhere could hear this man speak on the topic of breech birth. He really is THE best, and I got so incredibly lucky to have found him, and for him to have reached out to me, right on time, down to the last minute.

So, there I was, in my postpartum room at the hospital. It was early Sunday morning, still dark and quiet in the room. Baby was sleeping in her bassinet beside the hospital bed, and I was busy typing up parts of this story. It's around 7:30 in the morning and the doctors must have been making their rounds. In walks Dr Dhari to discharge me. Again, we chat for a while about how crazy, but wonderful this whole situation has been. And I thank him for everything he has done for me. Again, he is far too humble to even accept my thankfulness. I tell him we're gonna miss him, he's been absolutely amazing to work with. I ask him if he wants to hold my baby. He immediately says yes, and I snap photos. I want to remember this forever. He was a miracle sent straight to me from God, and he doesn't even realize it.

At 7:30am, me and my breechie said goodbye to our heaven-sent Dr Dhari in the dimmed light of a quiet, calm, sleepy hospital room in the middle of downtown Houston. I may never see this man again, but I will forever sing his praises to anyone and everyone willing to hear. And I will continue to share exactly what all it is that he did for me, even though he's far too humble to admit it and take any of the credit!